Anatomy of a Contest: Morning and Afternoon

Contest Day: The Morning

Competitors arrive at the contest hours before it actually starts.  They begin with registration.  The figure competitors are measured by height, and the bodybuilding competitors are weighed, so that everyone ends up in their correct height or weight class on stage.  The competitors receive goodie bags, usually full of product samples, T-shirts and a wide variety of coupons and fliers.  Then they head backstage to get ready.

I’ve never been backstage during this part of the process, but I know they get dressed, put on more tanning stuff and lift weights to pump up their muscles.

At this point, I’m out sitting in the audience.  Or, especially in the last few years, sitting at home trying to time it so that I get there just in time to see Bodybuilder Hubby’s class without having to sit through everyone else’s.  It’s really hard to judge how much time it’s going to take; one year I showed up just as everything was coming to an end.  Oops.

The morning part of the contest is when most of the judging happens.  The competitors come on stage with their height or weight class, standing in order based on the numbers they were randomly assigned.    They go through a series of turns and poses (different ones for figure and for bodybuilding).  The judges take notes and make comparisons.  Then they start moving people around so that they can compare different competitors side by side.  Usually it’s a good sign when Bodybuilder Hubby is asked to move to the middle; that makes me think they want to see him better or compare everyone else to him.

The judges look for things like symmetry, muscle size and definition, and stage presence.   In truth, though, even after years of watching these contests, I am terrible at predicting who will win.   Maybe the judges know better what to look for; maybe they can just see better from their vantage point front and center.

Depending on the size of the group, this process can go quickly or drag on and on and on. 

Then the group is dismissed, and the next group comes on to the stage.  The process repeats for each of the groups: figure (each height class), women’s bodybuilding (each weight class), men’s bodybuilding (each weight class) as well as novice (first-timers), teens, and masters (the “old” ones – more on this later).

It can be a really long morning.

I’ll be the first to admit that I sometimes get bored watching the contests. But I’m not an attentive person under the best of circumstances; sitting and paying attention are not my best skills.  One year I brought a book to read, but that didn’t go over well with Bodybuilder Hubby.  He came out on stage, and I was so engrossed in the book that I didn’t notice.  Oops again.

One year, when I was working as a classroom teacher, the contest was held right at the end of the school year, the weekend when I was supposed to be completing my students’ report cards.  So I brought the report cards, my grade book and all other related paraphernalia to the contest with me.  Spread it out in a well-lit spot up front and got to work.  I remember thinking that some of my students’ parents would have been shocked to know that while I was filling out the report card for their sweet little child, I was pausing occasionally to whoop at the mostly-naked guys on stage in front of me.

Watching Bodybuilder Hubby on stage is the best part of the show.  He loves being up there; I swear he never stops smiling.  The guys around him may be dripping sweat and grimacing and grunting.  Bodybuilder Hubby just holds his poses with style and a huge grin on his face.

Contest Day: The Afternoon

The competitors have the afternoon off to rest.  During this time, the judges get together and tally the scores to determine the winners, which are announced at the night show.

Bodybuilder Hubby sometimes comes home and naps.  (He lays out a sheet on the couch to protect it from his tan.)   Sometimes he goes to see a movie with friends.  It’s a good chance for them to relax, to trash-talk each other and to speculate about winners.  Bodybuilder Hubby never makes predictions about how he did.  He says that you never know what the judges see.

A few years ago, Bodybuilder Hubby dropped onto the couch at home post-judging, having finally finished what must have been a dozen phone calls from friends telling him they thought he won.  He sighed, and looked up at me with a big smile and said, “Now do you see why I love it so much?”